Jim works long hours and Lisbet doesn’t feel he is there for her. Lisbet spends all of her time meeting the children’s needs and Jim feels that she doesn’t have time for his needs? Can this relationship be saved? Should it be saved? Here’s how to save a relationship.
First, you must decide whether the relationship is worth saving. While almost every relationship can be saved with hard work, both parties must decide that they want to make it work. If someone doesn`t want to come back at all, there is not much you can do to get back together. A lot of times people stay in a relationship for the sake of the children or because of convenience. But that is not enough. Commitment is needed from both parties in order to save a relationship. The next step is to figure out the problems in the relationship.
It`s a difficult challenge when people are trying to save a relationship but looking at the symptoms as the real problem itself. For instance, many people think an affair is a problem that causes break ups. An affair is just a symptom of something much bigger and deeper. For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse. The underlying cause of an affair is lack of intimacy, but many times people see the affair as the problem. If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you haven’t dealt with the core issue. When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship.
Once you have identified the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts. Verbalizing your own feelings is important but you need to also listen carefully to your partner`s concerns. Showing your partner that you want to reconnect, take their hand when you are talking through your problems. If your partner hurts your feelings when he’s talking about things, remember that they don’t mean to.
When you have determined the problems in detail, make an action plan to solve them. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. Plan a date night every week, to spend some real quality time together like you use to do. Whatever night in the week works for you both of you take turns in discussing different ways to spend time together. If you need work on your communication, sit down with each other nightly for 20 minutes, before bed and talk. And, then do it.
It’s important to know that saving a relationship is going to take some effort. It`s progress, you make two steps ahead and then take one step back again. Laughter and tears will be had going forward now. Apologize quickly and slow to blame.
Is your relationship worth saving? Adopt these steps in this article in order to save a relationship.
